Archive for Claude
Don’t fall!
While I was relaxing in the privacy of my own bedroom my tranquil environment was invaded by Gucci’s furious barks and the obnoxious sound of a street sweeper. At first glance I could have sworn I saw sasquatch stomping across Claude’s roof top, but no it was in fact Claude himself. He was blowing leaves off his roof with a leaf [...]
Oh Claude
It has been fairly uneventful around here as far as Claude and his poop flinging goes. There haven’t been any mysterious notes hanging on trees or fences either. The reason things have been mellow is because Claude moved. Yep, he is gone. But not really. He decided to keep his house and rent it to a really nice guy with two [...]
Hosed
Yesterday I had the thrill of watching Claude and his new gardening buddy turn on his sprinkling system. Witnessing Claude get sprayed down and tripping in his ivy while trying to get away from the spray, was pure entertainment.
As Claude started to launch F-bombs I quickly ran inside my house so they couldn’t hear [...]
Looking for Spring
It’s beginning to look a lot like spring time
Everywhere you go.
take a look at Claude’s lawn, boy, it’s surely long,
with thawing links under the melted snow.
It’s beginning to look a lot like spring time
Gucci blamed for every turd,
But the prettiest sight I’ve seen is the poop that Claude just flinged (flung, work with me people)
On [...]
Signs of spring
These branches are from the scrub oak outside my desk window.
You may smile with anticipation as you gaze upon the bumpy sections of the tree because those bumps must be promising buds of spring time right? Wrong. They are some type of tree disease and those swollen woody knots are actually living bug things. At [...]
Even the deer like to go to Claude’s
During this time of year we have many deer visit our yard, which also means they are in Claude’s yard. Even though they seem to like our yard better, I know they are thankful for Claude’s yard because it is a wonderful place to take care of their business.
The deer are always careful to respect our [...]
Claude update
Is he moving? I have no idea.
Is his house for sale? There is not a sale sign posted.
Has Gucci crapped in his yard lately? Nope, the snow is too deep.
Have you thanked him for snowplowing the sidewalk in front of your house? Not yet, and when he discovers I took a shovel and recovered the [...]
A New Neighbor?
Did you feel the earth rattle beneath your feet last week? Did the stars seem a little out of whack? Or was it the news that Claude may be moving? That’s right. Claude, the neighbor who hates my dog, may be moving. Don’t assume I’m happy and performing the jig of joy. Loosing my colorful [...]
Momma’s boy
Today my 16 month old son was standing out on our master room balcony. As he scanned the backyard he noticed a golf club clear back by the garage. He likes to beat the crap out of his sisters with that rubber club. Without a second thought, Little Man about-faced and quickly marched passed me [...]
May Mayhem
Are you feeling wiped out? May birthdays, Mother’s Day, dance recitals, skating shows, school musicals (fill in the blank), every single minute of the month has been scheduled with something. School is almost over and I CAN’T WAIT! No lunches to make, no early morning rushes, homework, or massive amounts of laundry – Hooray!
Enough of [...]
