Can’t breathe
With all this back to school business, along with dwindling summer days, the noose around my neck seems much more than a fragment of my imagination.
Make a lunch people, this post might be long. Long, random, and grammatically incorrect. . .
In between fretting about the germs at our elementary school, buying up all the 4 oz hand sanitizer Bath & Body Works is discontinuing, and one last jaunt to Bear Lake, I was able to watch swimming legend Mr. Phelps, give the world a sports thrill not even Hollywood could have mustered up. Eight gold metals at one Olympic games! Thank you Michael, not only for the best week of entertainment, but permission for all us butterfliers to give our swim coaches harassing phone calls. Yes, the morning after Phelps swam his butterfly event harassing phone calls to swim coaches were made all across the U.S. to point out how wrong they were to tell swimmers “NEVER TAKE A HALF STROKE at the end of the race”. Michael, we will forever thank you for proving all our coaches wrong. Although I would never call and harass Steve, my old high school swim coach, because he would make me do push ups, I do indeed revel in the fact that I witnessed Michael Phelps, the current Olympic Champion take a half stroke to win the gold.
A few posts ago I told you we don’t drive the scenic route to Bear Lake. Lucky for you, our last trip required us to go the beautiful way because of some major road closures on our usual route.
See what I mean? This is the view once you leave Logan canyon and enter the land of Bear Lake.
Makes you want to drive your car right straight down to the beach doesn’t it?
There was more OM on this trip. OMMMM.
And schools of fish, of which I am deathly afraid of.
Once, long ago, while I was windsurfing this lake, the wind completely died. completely. Leaving me far away from the shore. Floating on the lake was delightful until a school of fish crossed my waters. Wiggling and splashing their way around my board, they just about killed me. Until Norm, a wonderful family friend came out on his jet ski to help, but his jet ski broke down so we had to paddle my windsurf and his jet ski in while being terrorized by a school of carp.
Just now, I nearly passed-out from reliving the contents in that last paragraph.
Moving on to another thrilling moment of terror, my son went missing while he was with my husband I was in the shower. As I took off looking for my baby, I spotted him making a run for the lake. Yes, I know, and yes, I did threaten divorce.
This photo is of a total stranger.
I am highly aware of the kind of negative energy I’m generating while posting such a private moment. But since this is a public lake, she should have been more considerate and used the restroom. Let this be a warning to you all: Don’t whiz in my lake! Especially don’t whiz right in front of me. This urinator squatted and tinkled inches from my children and Willy.
This is Willy, he has feelings too.
Our last night on the beach was breath taking, literally. I have felt like I’m suffocating each and every day we get closer to the last day of summer.
Due to my sadness from returning home from Bear Lake, and lack of oxygen, I decided to go on a wild adventure with my husband and three children to the top of Hidden Peak, a place where there really is no oxygen. No we didn’t hike. We here at Evanzstox don’t hike. Get real.
We rode the tram, i.e., puppet airplane with no wings, engine or seats. I was absolutely out of my mind because when we lifted up and swung back and fourth while elevating 11,000 ft I grabbed ahold of the germy railing and while peeking through my half shut eyes, I saw Santa in his red sled with the Easter bunny, 2Pac, and my childhood dog, fluffy, lord bless her sweet soul, they were mocking me.
No amount of Om was able to save me once we reached the top,
because landing way up there meant one thing - sooner or later I had to go back down.
We were all fine on the chairlift, but I must admit, I missed the security of the fluffy-soft white snow.
Did I just find something positive to say about winter?
Wow.
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