Talking to Ralph on the big white telephone
I may have told you this before, and if I have please pretend I haven’t, I really need some support here, “I hate to be sick, 80% of my day is spent dodging germs”.
Late last night at about midnight, after Hubby and I were through complaining to each other about how beat down tired we were, we heard Sas stomp to her bathroom upstairs. Every time one of our children gets up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, it makes my heart stop, and I hold my breath while waiting to hear a victory flush. But last night, there was no victory flush. There was nothing of the sort. Unfortunately my ears rang to the tune of vomit splashing on the floor. Followed by moans and groans and then a high pitched “DADDY!”, she knew calling for him was the wiser choice since her mother would be doing her best to get herself together. Getting myself together I did not. Instantly I started to recount the past couple of days. What did she eat? Who was she around? Is this food poisoning (please Lord) or worse? Is it the dreaded virus that inspired Walt Disney to make Splash Mountain (oh no Lord, please have mercy on my Lysol carrying soul)?
We were up all night with Sas. At 3:00 AM I snapped “Do you see the importance of washing your hands little girl? And, why you don’t share food at school?” Then I pointed to Gucci’s kennel and made her sleep there for the rest of the night. Not really, it was late, and Gucci’s kennel is the size of a shoe box.
Sass dry heaved every 30 minutes on the dot. She is a trooper.
Sitting here, relieved that she has been able to sleep an entire hour, and daydreaming about how life will be when my children are away to college, because then if illness strikes me down, it will almost be like a vacation. I’ll rent movies, order soups, stay in bed in comfy PJ’s, read a book, and drink tea. It WILL be a freaking vacation, because nothing, let me repeat, NOTHING IS WORSE THAN SICK KIDS.
I think we will survive. I have bleached, and scrubbed. I suited the others in face masks and latex gloves. I stripped down to nothing after scrubbing the porcelain phone and tossed my scrubbing clothes into a garbage bag along with the other evidence of illness. Once the bag was full, I hog tied it and threw it off the balcony. I have given Hubby instructions to take the bag and bury it in the desert.
Oh O, phone is ringing, Lord help me, it’s Ralph.
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