Archive for Archive for April, 2008
Shoe talk
Do you say “please put your shoes and socks on” or “please put your socks and shoes on”?
Speaking of shoes, there was a person with a stinky foot problem today at the figure skating rink . I dared a fellow skate mom to walk by him and take a whiff. She did. [...]
Please bring our dog fine cuts of meat only
My Hubby was listening to a segment on how to train your dog to not bark and go berserk whenever someone knocks on the front door. The suggestion was to have a treat ready for the visitor to give the dog before they knock on the door, so when the dog runs to the [...]
Talking to Ralph on the big white telephone
I may have told you this before, and if I have please pretend I haven’t, I really need some support here, “I hate to be sick, 80% of my day is spent dodging germs”.
Late last night at about midnight, after Hubby and I were through complaining to each other about how beat down tired we [...]
Looking for Spring
It’s beginning to look a lot like spring time
Everywhere you go.
take a look at Claude’s lawn, boy, it’s surely long,
with thawing links under the melted snow.
It’s beginning to look a lot like spring time
Gucci blamed for every turd,
But the prettiest sight I’ve seen is the poop that Claude just flinged (flung, work with me people)
On [...]
Car Clone
After months of toiling over what new car to purchase, I finally found the car for me. It is a new version of my old car Godiva. Yes, I name my cars. My new car is the same color and model, (minus 4 years) as Godiva. Aside from a few cosmetic differences, [...]
oOOP! oOOP! oooOOPS!
Conversation between my three spawn as they opened the door to go outside:
Sessy: (screeching gasp) What the?
Sas: What?
Sessy: How did Dad get all these poops out here?
Little Man: OOps, OOPS, OOPS!
Sas: WHAT ARE THOSE?
Sessy: Oh my gosh, WHAT DID GUCCI EAT?
Little Man: OOps, OOPS, OOPS!
Sas: MOOOOMMM! Come look at the grass!
Little man: OOPS! MOMMA! OOPS! [...]
Five Dollar
Subway, you’re killing me.
Do you know the type of looks I’ve been getting? I’m getting the disgusted, “she must be a porn subscriber” look. I may as well be, bopping in line at the store and singing the five dollar foot long song. I really can’t help it, it’s stuck in my head.
Five dollar, [...]
Please don’t stop the music.
For nearly every memory I have there is a soundtrack or song to tag it with.
Erasure’s Wonderland CD and music videos were on repeat as I hot waxed my legs with my good friend Janae. It was our first time, I was fifteen. Reading the instructions seemed like a waste of time, so [...]
A kid again
I had a wonderful childhood filled with fun friends and adventures. I wouldn’t change any of it for anything. Not even for a life time supply of hand sanitizer.
It is hard to comprehend the woman I have grown to be, I mean, I have 3 children and I’m married for Pete’s sake! [...]
Reasons a vacation would be good for me
Sitting in front of my computer I desperately tried to spell the word OF. After sounding it out I began to type A and then V.
I keep referring to my pedometer as a pacemaker.
I feel tired and cold. Just kidding. I stole that from the Thompson Twins.
Each visit to the grocery store I purchase more [...]