Wii would like to play
For Christmas Santa brought the children Playstation 3 because he did the research and apparently it would be the best for our three children (all under the age of eight) and especially because it doubled as a Blue Ray machine. Mrs. Clause gave Santa her recommendation to get the little tikes the Wii because of the plethora of kid-friendly games it is worthy of (not to mention it looked awesome). But Santa, being of an engineering background knew best. So Mrs. Clause turned her attention to the stocking stuffers and let Santa, the expert, figure the video game contraptions out.
Two weeks before the big night Santa realized decided that perhaps the Wii would in fact have been the better choice for the young ones. Unfortunately his return to practical thinking was a wii bit too late because the Wii was nowhere to be found. The bright side to this dilemma was that the children had not asked Santa for a Wii, and since it was not officially on their wish list it was not necessary to throw down the $600.00 bucks it was selling for on the black-market internet. However, it did cast a nasty spell on Mrs. Clause and since she is one who has difficulties being told it can not be found this predicament tossed her into a greyhound quest to hunt and take out unsuspecting game shop employees who withheld any tips regarding any Wii shipments.
Santa’s big night came and went, and the Wii was not left under the tree. Mrs. Clause swore it would never happen.
For weeks no store went unsearched and no sales clerk went unthreatened. Mrs. Clause was on post holiday over time and ready to do the unthinkable. Until one morning last week while Mrs. Clause was tenderly caring for 3 deprived wiiless children she suddenly felt an overwhelming tingle of Wii arrival. She glanced at the clock, it read 10:01 AM. Without missing a beat Mrs. Clause was on the phone with the Game shop. She had made this type of call a zillion times, and almost every time she got the same annoyed answer “no stupid lady, we do not have the Wii, good luck finding one and stop calling you loser” harsh, I know. But for Mrs. Clause this morning call felt undeniably different. There was pixy particles in the air, and the sales clerk who answered the phone sounded like Billy Idol, and he was like “ yes lady love, we do indeed have the Wii, it was made special for you because I love you, we all do, every single one of us here in the video game world loves you, and we have been in agony all these weeks we have not been able to give you the Wii, but we only have two and we cannot take a credit card over the phone, and we cannot hold one, and we cannot lock our doors and pretend we are closed until you get here, because we really don’t like you and this is not Billy Idol but in fact it is Satan and I want to suck your blood.” Huh? Mrs. Clause hung up the phone and called Santa and spoke into the phone like it was a megaphone while saying “WHERE ARE YOU? Never mind IT DOES NOT MATTER TO ME! GO TO THE GAME SHOP IMMEDIATELY! RUN EVERY RED LIGHT. Go Dasher, go Dancer, Prancer and Vixen, on Comet, on Cupid, Donner and Blitzen. STAY ON THE PHONE WITH ME (are you reading this loud in monotone, choppy, and slow?) LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU GET THERE, OH LORD PLEASE GET THERE, YOU ARE DEAD IF YOU DON”T GET THERE!!!!
Santa is a hero because he did get there, and when he did the sales clerk gracefully and in slow motion slid the box of Wii onto the counter like it was a large frothy beer and said “dude you so totally are walking the walk of a man here for the Wii.” Apparently there is a walk that is walked when one is about to purchase a Wii, and Santa was walking it. Mrs. Clause says “that kind of walk is the walk of a dad who made the mistake of purchasing a video game device for the Blue Ray feature rather than for the children’s game time enjoyment”. Game on Santa, game on, and thank you.
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