A Von Trap Christmas
Everyone has experienced a time when they have been given such a disappointing gift it would have been better to receive a lump of coal.
When I was around the age of 8 my grandparents traveled to Austria and brought back lederhosen for both my brother and I. They actually expected us to wear them, and my mother was delighted to enforce their wishes. She even found us matching white ruffled shirts and knee high socks. This insult to fashion was committed more than a dozen times before I decided to wet my lederhosen to stop the insanity. Although my first attempt failed when the pee ran directly down my leg and into my shoe, the second time was the charm as I sat yoga style on the lawn while urinating and soaking the stream into my lederhosen. Needless to say the yodeling pants were soiled and ruined by a large water ring on the bottom, and I never had to wear them again. To bad I can’t say the same for my brother who has undergone years of therapy for all those sad days he was mistaken for Pinocchio.
I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season, and now that you have had time to take all your gifts back, and recover from Granny’s turkey casserole, it is time to get started on your new year resolutions. My resolution last year was to moisturize, and it worked for me so I’m going to stick to what worked and paraffin up again for another great year.
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